Confusing Contradictions

  There is this thing that continues to bother me even today despite its permanent indentation into our mindsets and society. Go through any situation today or recall a previously occurring one. There is a good chance that you will remember something. Be it a savage fight or just an inciting blame game you will find a constant here. The fact that its so hard to find that constant for you, that it isn't even noteworthy anymore, makes this all more worrisome.

   You're thinking of someone right now. Someone you associate with screams and blood. The mental image of that person : I want you to hold on to it as you progress through this.

    I want you to remember that moment. When he said it, the words leaving his mouth and and not getting the retort they truly deserved. Always a condescending tone with that one.With zero hesitation before and non-existent shame afterwards as if he was used to tossing them about on a daily basis. That puckered mouth, glittering eyes, every line of his face set in revulsion, with just the right amount of superiority complex splayed across his features to send you right over the edge.

   Hold on to the silence that followed before the fight . Before you grabbed his lapels and shoved him against that wall and hit him, or at least tried to.

   But that is it isn't it? That is what this is about. How do you justify that punch? How do you justify the satisfaction you felt when you saw his blood? How do you explain that moan of pain of his that melted like the sweetest symphony to your ears? How do you explain fantasizing his misfortune that night and gloating over it the next morning?

Do you have an answer?

Of course you do. Don't you always?

What was that?

He deserved it?

Well sure he did.

Why? If i may ask...

He called you a girl.

And how is that offensive again?

Do you have an answer?

A valid one this time please.

Because I do.


  You tell yourself that you're a part of the 21st century. For millenials a modern thought process and an accepting inclination is treated as inheritance rather than an attribute.

  You tell yourself that it shows. That when you publicly disapprove of a harassment case or protest against a male dominant society you've done your part.You sleep peacefully knowing that no one of this world could possibly be thinking bad of you right now. You feel content as you realize that even if you have nothing at least you fit in.

  Fit in seamlessly into the society you've been born into. This world you consider too damaged to be worthy of your attention.These blackened days that were concocted by the likes of you.

  If that is today's standard of fitting in. Then the people who don't fit in are the only ones worthy of contentment. But that is the problem with them. That is the difference between the runners and the witnesses. The runners create their happiness, the spectators just steal it.

  So the next time someone accuses you of "fighting like a girl" or "crying like a girl" stop him or her  and express your gratitude. I hope you know how stupid these phrases are, I hope you are reading this while understanding what baseless means.

   But see this is more than that. This is us calling ourselves humans and simultaneously equating power with muscle and weakness with tears. This is about our double standards. The confusing contradictions in our thoughts and actions that are slowly ripping the universe at its seams.

   This is about us considering emotions- the very thing that distinguishes us from animals- to be a hurdle. Something to overcome rather than experience.Something to share with moist pillows and suffocating blankets under the cover of the night. This is about us choosing to give the world the worst part of us and being ashamed of the best of us. The only thing we will always have in common with every other human. This is about you adjusting yourself yet again with how the world works rather than reflect for the briefest of moments on how ridiculous all of it is.

  There will always be people who won't understand you. There will mostly be people who will never treat you seriously when they come to know of your unique outlook of the world, the correct outlook of the world. What I ask of you isn't an easy task but can you honestly live with this? With this knowledge that you can change the world but you aren't bothered with trying?

  To those of you who can - to the witnesses and spectators- I really have nothing to say. Not because what you're doing is right. Not because I am weak in letting you go. But because some people really are not worth words. Some people will never be.